I remember the first time my husband had to travel for work and I was left to manage a newborn, myself and all life brings. Being a military spouse my husband travels and deploys a lot, so I have learned some things over the years to help manage life. Here are some tips for you if your partner also travels a lot for work.
stick with your personal routine
It’s key to stick to the routine even if your partner is gone. If you are like me you will probably realize how much you relied on your spouse to do even the littlest things within the routine. Sticking to a your routine keeps things running as smooth as possible. When my husband is gone my 3 year old never misses her nap and bedtime stays the same so when Dad gets back there is no confusion of new expectations.
begin and end day with a conversation
If you can try to catch up with your spouse at the end of the day, do it! We have been lucky with our deployments that we could Facetime every day. Not only is it good for your kids to see mom or dad but it is good for you to build trust and helps you decompress from a busy day. Also, hearing how crazy and hectic their working day has been can help reduce those jealous thoughts that come… “oh I wish I had free time”, ” I want to sleep in a comfy king size bed and not be disturbed”.
Military Families: If you know you won’t be able to chat with your spouse make a good morning and good night video for you kiddos. We did this our last deployment and on the nights we couldn’t chat Blakely would still hear those words ” Daddy, loves you and misses you” which I know in the long run made a difference.
Our Recent Deployment Homecoming
let go of the cooking and eat left overs
Can someone say, “left overs”. When my husband travels for work I am all about the lefts overs. Before he leaves we make a couple dishes that can last a few days, so I don’t have to worry about cooking anything. And if things are going really well we might make pancakes and eggs for dinner and eat them while watching a Disney movie. Basically, I make dinners as easy & healthy possible and try to avoid any fast food. I don’t want my kid to equate dad being gone to us always getting fast food.
don’t stay up past your typical bedtime
For the longest time I would stay up way past my typical bed time when my spouse is traveling. You know just trying to catch up on blogging and binging my favorite tv shows. For some reason it’s so much easier to push bed time and have that extra cocktail when the spouse is away. But I can guarantee the next morning I always wake up regretting staying up those extra few hours. Best tip I can give is get as much sleep as possible.
remember you aren’t alone
Having a spouse that travels can bring feelings of freedom and loneliness, I totally get it. The sad truth is my husband and I probably have spent more time apart than together over our 8 year relationship. But that is life when you have a spouse who’s job requires travel. As someone who had a dad who traveled a lot and now a spouse traveling. Remember these days alone with your kiddos are memories that they will never forget and days that will help you grow as a parent and spouse.
It has been a dream of mine for awhile now to start a lifestyle podcast with my best friend Kristen of the Everyday Grace. We wanted to connect with women, really all of you on another level. Plus, we love talking way more than we love typing… so a podcast was a perfect fit. You can catch up on latest TGL episodes on itunes, Soundcloud, Googleplay, Spotify.We just released EPISODE 5 with Janelle Nelson, (LMFT) a family, marriage life therapist who specializes in EMDR( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR is a tool used to help combat PTS from trauma, anxiety, even helps people with phobias. EMDR has helped me work through some of my anxiety that I asked Janelle Nelson, LMFT to share about this amazing tool on the blog after her episode on TGL aired.
My Anxiety Struggle
I have talked a lot aboutmy struggle with anxiety with the hope of showing people… we don’t have to “sweep” this topic under the rug. Check out past posts here and here. I have been using EMDR in my therapy sessions with Dr. Cassidy. and OMG EMDR is amazing. I have seen great improvement in my own life since starting my sessions, it really helps peel back all the layers of your anxiety.
On Positively Posie.com I truly want to be a force in breaking the stigma that still surrounds the topic of mental health. One of the first steps in breaking that is to say and believe…
” there is no weakness in asking for help”
In our latest TGL Episode with Janelle Nelson, LMFT , I share how I got a point with my anxiety where I KNEW I needed to talk to someone. It was truly freeing and reduced my anxiety by just take that step and going to first session. I believe there is POWER in being heard and understood by someone else. SO GUYS- I hope this post and podcast episode can be a little piece in helping start a productive conversation about mental health, anxiety and therapy.
Whitney: Hey Janelle thanks for coming on Positively Posie and sharing about EMDR. First tell us little bit about you, your practice.
Janelle: Thanks for having me! I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist trained in specific type of therapy called EMDR. I have a private practice in Carlsbad, CA (North County San Diego). I’m also a mom, artist, nature lover and health/wellness geek 🙂
Whitney: Let’s start off with the basics: what is EMDR?
Janelle: EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and is now the most proven form of trauma therapy that’s available. It works incredibly fast and can be used to treat a wide range of trauma – from incredibly severe to very mild.
Whitney: Can your quickly breakdown what an EMDR session looks like?
Janelle: First, I work with my clients to find the most effective memory to target (called a touchstone memory). After identifying this memory I will go through a list of questions with my client to help my client really get in touch with the memory. For example; I would ask them to identify what image represents the worst part of the incident.Also, what negative belief are they believing because of the incident, what feelings do they have around the incident, and have them rate the trauma. After all these questions (and more) are answered and the client is in touch with the incident then the actual processing can start.
The processing phase is where the client gets in touch with the memory and then with their eyes follows a lightbar tool I have in my office to allow the brain to ‘digest’ the trauma (go to my instagram @jncounseling to see an actual video of this). The bi-lateral movement from the eyes allows the brain to move and reprocess the memory using both hemispheres of the brain. I will pause and check in with the client throughout the process to see if there distress levels have shifted. When they get to the point where nothing about the incident bothers them (yes- this happens every time!) then we can move to theinstallation and body scan phases.
The installation and body scan phases is where they are able to pair the positive belief with the incident and they start to feel really good! At the end of the sessions my clients are usually tired, but incredibly light and relieved or they literally skip out of my office! Ha! I once had a teenage client ask me, “Do you feel like a magician? From like, Harry Potter or something?! That was crazy!”
Whitney: You’ve been using EMDR in your practice for over 7 years. Why is it such a powerful tool in the world of healthcare.
Janelle: Because it goes deep and works so so quickly! Trauma literally gets “stuck” in the brain and gets paired with a negative belief about ourselves. We might do a lot of talk therapy and in our minds know “I am good enough,” but in our hearts we don’t FEEL that way. EMDR helps make our head knowledge actual heart knowledge… and that’s what makes it so powerful.
Whitney: As an military spouse I knew about EMDR, but I only thought it was for Post traumatic stress trauma, who else could benefit from EMDR ?
Janelle: It can benefit literally anyone. I have never met a person who hasn’t experienced some form of trauma (shame or pain). I have worked with many of our Military who have PTSD and the results are incredible for them, but anyone can benefit. Some common things I see (unfortunately) is a lot of sexual abuse, bullying, and attachment trauma (ex: alcoholic/workaholic parent). Other things I have used it for are fear of flying, cancer or illness recovery, and death of a loved one. It has endless uses…
Whitney: I have used EMDR to tap into past childhood issues that are the stem of a lot of my adult anxiety. Are you seeing more patients like myself using EMDR to manage chronic anxiety.
Janelle: Most of my clients are just like you! Awesome, high functioning people who are wanting to self improve and work through whatever is blocking them in their present life.
Whitney: What are some myths you’ve heard when people talk about EMDR?
Janelle: That it’s some form of hypnosis- It’s definitely not! You are completely conscious the during the processing. Nothing scary I promise 🙂
Whitney: If a person is interested in trying a session where should they start? What should they look for when trying to find a practitioner like yourself.
J: Personal referrals are always the first best resource, but if you don’t have one I would do a search on Psychology Today.
We hear it a lot- – the phrase “me time”. Finding me time has become harder as my miss B has grown older. As a type A personality I’ve had to create rituals in my everyday life to find some sort of balance.
My evening ritual is something that I look forward to all day, it just helps me refocus my energy and power down for the day. Sounds silly maybe but it works for me.
Skincare: I’m a huge believer in taking off your makeup before hitting the sheets & a having a killer skincare routine– shocker. So I double cleanse off all my makeup, I have been doing this for awhile now and its just my thing– plus I incorporate my whole other skincare routine. For my hyper-pigmentation I’ve been using no BS. super clean & natural vitamin C, plus some must needed anti- aging retinol or a cleaner way to beat fine lines Rosehip BioRegenerate Oil , a dab of eye cream… the whole deal. AND wait can we please talk about Kopari Coconut Rose Toner. I have been using it for a month now and it’s my new best friends. It helps reduce my monstrous pores and balance my skin which I’m always looking for and it FREE of all the bad stuff: GMO’s, Sulfate, Cruelty and Paraben!
I’m also all about slipping into crisp, clean sheets- – which mean using my Slip pillowcase nightly… anti-aging, anti-sleep crease, anti-bed head! We spend a lot of of our lives sleeping so might as well make the most of it with the best pillow case.
There you have it, I want to know your PM routine because I’m always up for trying something new! Share in the comments
San Diego, California what a place! Being a military family you never know where you’ll end up next, so I’m all about exploring and make the most of our time here. North Park is probably my favorite spot, it’s a vibrant community filled with small businesses, a booming matcha scene (I’m addicted) and lots of Instagram worthy scenery. I put together a little something I like to call Positively Posie’s North Park Instagram crawl.. SO here it is Ta- Da!
Pigment: Probably my favorite store in San Diego! Guys there are succulents everywhere, it is a total dream land! This store is like if a rainbow and a unicorn had a baby. If you can’t tell I am obsessed with this store. I’m always inspired to make or buy something and of course take a photo quick pic in front of their ombré pink wall…it’s a must!
Artelexia: Next walk down the street to Artelexia, a wonderful store full of handcrafted Mexican gifts, art, and home décor. If your looking for vibrant color and culture this is the place for you. Buzzfeed recently named Artelexia one of the 6 Culturally Vibrant Brands on Instagram. I mean GUYS they have a DYI piñata bar seriously…HOW FUN! And you can’t forget to take a picture on their Instagram worthy “ You are Radiant ” mural. The colors are out of this world and the message is perfect!
Holy Matcha: I swear there is something Instagram worthy on almost every wall in North Park. Walking into Holy Matcha it’s hard not to have a smile on your face. The tropical pink and green décor is so inviting, it really makes you want to sit and relax for a few. For those of you who don’t know, Matcha is highly concentrated powdered green tea, it has tons health benefits and is filled with antioxidants… so delish! My drink of choice is the Matcha Latte with coconut milk.
Communal coffee: is a super fun and trendy coffee shop, that has definitely become a hot spot for social media addicts to visit while in San Diego. I mean who wouldn’t want a picture on next to their amazing Coffee + Flowers wall! Why Coffee +Flowers, well communal coffee is a joint store with the Native Poppy flower shop! So the store is filled with the aroma of coffee and flowers, it doesn’t get much better than that! While the ambience is amazing the menu is out of this world. Lavender honey latte, vanilla bean latte, and rose vanilla latte the list goes on and on.
If you are looking to have an INSTAGRAM worthy experience, check out North Park. It will not disappoint you guys, highly recommend!
Recently I asked on Instagram what ya’ll wanted to hear more of and the people spoke….drumroll please… Health and Wellness! So today I really want to share with you my journey with sugar! Before we begin, can I just preface this post by saying, I need a sweet treat sometimes. I am not here to tell you to NEVER have a sweet treat ever again. I am here to say (because I know personally) that sugar can control your life, because it is addicting. I saved this article forever ago because I loved what it asks, are you high? High off of sugar that is, don’t worry most of us are buzzed off of sugar these days. We eat on average, as American’s nearly 66 pounds of added sugar every year, when I read this and my jaw dropped. I’m sure that a few years ago I was consuming 66 lbs of sugar a year too but not since curbed that sweet tooth. So moving right along & back to the point: How I Curbed My Sweet Tooth! Well I came up with game plan that’s fairly easy to manage, with this anyone can say PEACE OUT to sugar controlling their life.
+ I’m starting this off with a harsh dose of reality. Sugar is addicting. Truly to curb your sweet tooth I believe you have to cut it completely out before slowly reintroducing those little treats. When I say cut it completely out I mean cut out what I like to call ” THE BIG THREE” the soda, candy, desserts. There is sugar in everything but those three things are where I started.
+ Clean out the fridge and pantry. I literally had a trash full of items that were loaded with sugar. Out of sight out of mind, right! Even the kids treats, if you don’t think you can control yourself until you are detoxed then get rid of those treats too!
+ Eat breakfast. 90% of the time I have eggs and avocado for breakfast. I keep it simple folks, protein with some healthy fats. I swear that when I eat breakfast I find myself not snacking later in the night, which is when most of us tend to grab the sweets.
+ Reduced Stress. Truth! So many people are stress sugar eaters and when we are stressed our bodies produce more cortisol. Cortisol increases our appetite and motivation to eat. By reducing stress through prayer, yoga, drinking decaff coffee and adrenal support supplements I have drastically reduced my stress and my night time sugar cravings.
+ Staying Hydrated. Towards the end of the night I often grab a La Croix or some hot tea. Just something to hold in my hands and sip, really helps. It’s about an hour before bed that those sugary cravings pop up. I encourage you to ask yourself , am I needing something sweet or would some water/ tea do the trick. I bet it will do the trick!!
Anyways– my friends. It took me completely cutting out sugar to beat that addiction. Now I feel like sugar doesn’t control me, and I can 100% have a healthier sweet treat when I want… I’m in control! I hope these tips help and encourage you to curb that sweet tooth too!
Okay guys this is how I really drink my smoothie, the straw is cute but come on! This blueberry coconut smoothie is similar to a TIU smoothie, but I added a few more items to increase my “good” fat intake for the day. It’s so good I have to control myself and drink it slowly! Hope you love it as much as I do… ENJOY!
Over the last year I have literally been Instagramming myself all over San Diego. In 2017 I posted some of my favorite Instagram worthy spots in North Park but there are so many more places to see in this iconic city. I decided to create a Instagram tour guide for ALL of San Diego. So get ready here are my favorite Instagram spots around San Diego, Happy Instagramming!
The spanish village art center is a hidden treasure located in Balboa Park and is largest community of artists in San Diego. It is a color of explosion, and the perfect place to snap a few IG photos. (Google Maps)
Add some life to your Instagram page with a photo in front of Pigment’s ombre pink wall. Pigment it is my favorite store in San Diego! Succulents, flamingos and rainbows cover the store, it’s the BEST! (Google Maps)
This playful wall in La Jolla is another one of my favorites! The “favorite color” mural was created by Roy Mcmakin an designer, architect and was inspired by the emotions around peoples favorite colors. Don’t forget to use #favoritecolor. (Google Maps)
Grab yourself a smoothie and 3 killer IG photos… thanks to the artist peasefulxo there are three beautiful murals to choose from… here are 2 of the 3! Make sure to show the love and tag peasefulxo. on Instagrtam. (Google Maps)
Happy San Diego wandering and instagramming friends!
So much happiness in one spot,that is Arizona. It is one of favorite places in the world, and it will forever be home to me. So where should you go if your visiting Scottsdale, Arizona? Head to the heart of Scottsdale…Old Town! It has everything from great restaurants, boutiques,tourist shops and art galleries. Everything that makes for a great Saturday morning, check them out and DUH make sure to Instagram them!
Guys literally the most instagrammable and colorful place in Old Town. The Art of Ice Cream is celebrating America’s love of ice cream with interactive art that is so much fun. Your kids will love it, gosh YOU will love it because it’s such a happy and colorful place.
If there was ever a restaurant made for me it is Farm and Craft. They have a wellness menu that features 4 paths to optimal health includes ( anti inflammatory, increasing probiotics levels, maintaining high levels of antioxidants and reducing your overall stress levels). Basically this place is gluten free, organic and hormone free, healthy food but done in a creative and delicious way!
This is probably one of my favorite places in Arizona! Macaroons+ Boba Tea makes for the perfect afternoon treat. This shop has a place in my heart because the mother/daughter team behind RUZE have played a special role in my major life moments over the past two years. From my bridal shower to wedding cake and desserts, and then my baby shower treats, I just can’t get enough of their delicious but beautiful designed treats. Be on the look for a future post solely about RUZE and the women behind it.
This little gem OG Beauty carries all types of indie beauty/ makeup brands. If your a makeup lover like me then you’ll want to pop in and check them out! They are located on Main St, just down from Ruze Cake House! So grab a Boba tea from Ruze and head over to OG beauty to try a couple new beauty products.
I’d love to hear about some of your favorite spots in Arizona or in your home town! And don’t forget to follow my blog with Bloglovin and Instagram
If your anything like me finding the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for the man in your life is no easy feat.! As a military family we value gift of time, we always cherish being able to celebrate holidays together. With Valentines day just around the corner, I thought a really unique watch would be the perfect gift. Personally, I’m kind of obsessed with watches, I think a watch is gift that your loved one can cherish for years to come. Thanks to Jord Wood Watches I was able to surprise my husband with an engraved JORD watch for Valentine’s Day. He was totally surprised and lets be honest this unique wood watch is definitely going to help Kale elevate his daily wrist wear!
Kale’s engraved watch is the newest style in the JORD collection, the Hyde series, is a model of minimalism. Like most men my husband is all about minimalism when it comes to anything fashion. Even though this watch is simple the details of the sapphire crystal glass, metal tipped hands and real wood are just beautiful. Another special touch that JORD offers is personalizing the box your watch comes in with an engraved message! If your in the market for a unique men’s or women’s watch, JORD’s watches are timepieces pieces meant for a modern lifestyle!
Unique men’s/women’s watch for Valentine’s Day
Unique men’s watch
So now the GIVEAWAY… JORD and I have partnered up to give one lucky winner $100.00 off gift code to spend on a JORD watch of your choice. Use it to pick up something for your sweetheart for Valentines day or pick out a watch for yourself! Even if you don’t win the the $100.00 gift code, everyone who enters will receive a 10% off coupon code
Tone it Up: I really want to tone up this year so I’m now a Tone It Up Girl and loving it!
Think Dirty App: Scan the barcode on your product and you will receive a rating of 0 (clean!) to 10 (dirty). It’s amazing you’ll find yourself scanning everything in sight.
One Word: Influenster ( look for more info in an upcoming post)
Kerastase: Fibre architecte reconstructing serum for weak hair and damaged hair. Because after years of hair extensions my hair needs some major love.
LANCER: The Method is a skin game changer. My skin has never felt smoother. Yes, it’s a little pricey but worth it. Try out the limited addition mini set at Sephora and see what you think.
Starbucks: New L.O.V.E reusable cup just makes me happy.
Smartygirlbrand: I’m all about girls being girly girls but girls can still like chemistry and Dinos, right! These unique leggings are going to be a staple in Blakely’s wardrobe. Go swoon over their Instagram
Sweatandmilk: My good friend just posted about these luxury bras for nursing mamas. I looked everywhere for fashionable nursing bras and found nothing. For baby #2 I’m stocking up.